Humanity did not disappoint

My first solo trip in decades has been many things, but it has not been lonely.

May the blessings of light be upon you,
light without and light within.
And in all your comings and goings,
may you ever have a kindly greeting
from them you meet along the road.
- traditional Irish blessing

My first solo trip in decades (which I promise to explore more in these pages once I start to really process the experiences) has been so many things, but it has not been lonely. The first half was filled with rekindling friendships from 30 years ago, communing with family in the only real “hometown” I have and even spending 36 blissful hours with my best Dublin girlfriends on the Florida coast. It was the second half that had me concerned. Not long ago, too much time on my own would trigger some of my worst habits or lead to some very dark places. Finally getting time to yourself doesn’t mean you know how to use it for good. So, when I boarded the plane from Fort Lauderdale to St Louis, the longest stretch of my trip without a fixed itinerary or personal contacts, there was a bit of apprehension mixed in with the anticipation.

A few precautions seemed in order. First: “classic” Airbnbs in private homes with your hosts on site, giving you, best case, a friendly face to offer advice and maybe some conversation if things got dark; worst case, someone to put out a missing persons alert. Next: bar seating at restaurants, saving you from a glaringly obvious empty chair at your table and providing a bartender to chat with—or rescue you—when needed. But the best precaution, ironically, was throwing caution to the wind. Some of my most fleeting encounters, in the end, proved as profound as those with fast friends. They also provided a few much-needed hugs, insights and validation.

Was this a chicken or an egg? Is humanity is just freaking fantastic (IRL, mind you, not the fake online kind!). Or had I, through either the subconscious or self-preservation, opened myself up to the world in a way that attracted the “right” kind of response from my fellow (wo)man? I like to think it was a bit of both. Either way, the almost total lack of antagonistic, aggressively unpleasant or dangerous encounters with humans on my trip is evidence enough that we/I need more of this and not less.

Behold the best of them:

There was Carroll at the Airbnb in the Ozarks, who greeted me at her door with, “I’m crazy!”, but turned out to be anything but as she gifted me life lesson after life lesson (and let me commune with her dogs, a balm for the touch-starved solo traveler).

A Steven Keaton lookalike at the ticket counter for the St Louis Art Museum waived the fee for the temporary Matisse exhibit (AMAZING!). He was so earnest and so proud as he handed me the ticket with both hands, assuring me I wouldn’t find a better collection of art anywhere in the world. I almost cried.

My barstool neighbor at the wonderful Antler Room in Kansas City had serious “cool aunt vibes” (i.e., the posture, the style and the haircut of Anna Wintour but none of the haughtiness). She pronounced my trip as essential for my “life force” and said she was proud of me—sigh… (Her name, “Jobeth”, was the Little Women mash-up of my dreams!)

Abbey sells minerals, fossils and jewelry made with them at the aptly named “STL Rocks” on quirky Cherokee Street. She and I discussed the optimism and hope I felt in St Louis in addition to ways it is falling short (poverty and potholes, mainly)—making me wish I had met HER on a barstool.

Then there was Pamela, my Airbnb host in St Louis who knew the Central West End before it gentrified; the lady at the Sugaree bakery in Dogtown in her St Patrick’s day swag who tried to give me the tie-dye hat off her head when I admired it; the woman at the Mark Twain gift shop in Hannibal looking for Kate and Wills gossip (like I would know!), who couldn’t bear the thought of the prince’s wandering eye; an MP at Picatinny Arsenal, who wondered in a whisper (after hearing about my trip) if mid-40 was too early for mid-life; Waco couple Brad and Wendy at the Green Lady Lounge jazz club, inspirational in the way they eat life with both hands; and countless others in all 6 states I visited who said hello or let me go at a four-way stop or waved to me on a country road or just smiled precisely when I needed it.

May your blessings be many!